SLEEP OFF®

The Network Detox Implants Unit is currently developing Sleep Off®. Our patent pending, integrated wet tissue sensor-actuator bundle causes you to fall asleep whenever you attempt to go online. Checking your E-Mail every 30sec will become a lasting experience! Learn more ...

NET OFF®

The often painful symptoms of network withdrawal may last for several days and can stand as a barrier to the treatment of abuse. Net Off® is our powerful, quick-fix solution to this problem–it eliminates the toxins accumulated in the body as a result of excessive Internet usage. Comes in tablet form or a nasal spray-eye drops combo. Learn more ...

NOTE: a test batch of Net Off® will be made available for participants of X | Media | Lab's Pro Day Conference in Sydney, Australia, on 8 June 2012.

PLAY OFF®

Our specially trained Network Detox felines as well as our highly adventurous, total response toddlers (TRTs) will easily teach you how you can socialize off-wire, applying proven techniques such as zero-tech playing, surprise cuddling up as well as combat outstaring, all part of our doctors' accredited Play Off® method. Learn more ...